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SOC Sunday – Things I Can’t Say

March 25, 2012

#SOCsunday

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: What are some things you wish you could blog about but can’t?

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You might be surprised by this (I’m assuming the majority of my readers are the usual friends and family that stop by), but the short answer is – infertility. As much as I might mention being infertile, I’ve shied away from where we really are these days.

This was not the blog/site I wrote in when we were trying to conceive V. I started this blog when V was 2, just as I was suffering a miscarriage from another round of IVF. I started it as I didn’t want any of the ‘other’ blog’s readers who might still have been trying to conceive to have my blatherings about my child posted to their time lines constantly, and I’d otherwise lost my voice. Our last IVF attempt was secret, I journalled it privately but did not share it on either blog until after I’d miscarried (but before the missed miscarriage fiasco – May-Aug/10 good times).

So my assumption is that either most of the readers of this blog aren’t part of the ART community and don’t need to hear the moanings of a 42 year old who still doesn’t feel ‘done’ or they are family and friends, who I don’t necessarily want to know if we start trying again, or who might find the posts otherwise TMI (nods to the guys from work). So the posts rattle around in my head and crash off my skull bones, and I wish I could write them, I just can’t figure out what to say that won’t come up at the next family dinner, or poker game. (Which sounds totally self-centred, and that’s not the way I mean it, but if I’m writing about a transfer and a two-week wait, don’t tell me it won’t come up – and NO, nothing like that is in the works atm!)

I’ve even toyed with the idea of a disclaimer at the top of the posts warning family away, but I get the feeling it’d be ignored (I know I would *g*)

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules:

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
Link up your post here.
Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 25, 2012 11:53 pm

    We are totally kindred spirits. You are the first #SOCSunday person that I’m sure could probably read my mind when it comes to feeling of inadequacy around pregnancy loss. I’ve blogged about it, not on my main blog, but on my Tumblr. I’m 43 going though this for the 3rd time & Ive written a few posts about it & it always makes me feel a bit exposed. It’s hard to start healing though when you’re stuffing all those feeling inside – Writing about it has been a bit healing… a baby step to feeling like myself again.

    • April 3, 2012 10:49 pm

      Thank you so much for commenting. You’re right, and I even find it hard to blog in general when I know what I want to say but won’t. It’s just a huge roadblock.

  2. March 27, 2012 12:11 pm

    While we’re happily childfree, you have my sympathy. It must been so difficult to go through what you went to, but I think it would be a great post if you ever decide to do it. :)

  3. March 27, 2012 12:12 pm

    went through-sorry, I’m a quick typer!

  4. Fadra permalink
    April 7, 2012 11:47 pm

    I find that stories can be much more interesting/tolerable/bearable/etc. if you write it more from a personal perspective than a simple recap. Everyone can relate to loss and family life and unexpected curveballs. And if you write it in a way that is relatable, I don’t think anything is off-topic.

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