Somebody stop me!

It appears that I have a vendetta against my own body. I am not sure what it did wrong, but the evidence so far is that it’s my legs that were misbehaving. First, there was the toe incident.

Then on the weekend I tried to avoid crushing a small child on the stairs *shh don’t tell my sister* and rolled down the last stair scraping the arch of my right foot (if you’ve EVER done it you know what I’m talking about). I don’t even think I cursed on that one. I may have been too busy comforting the tribe of Lilliputians to release the inner sailor.

Woke up the next morning wanting to chop the heel off my opposite foot. No idea what caused it, I’m afraid that if I ask Dr. Google in case she tells me it’s something like plantar fasciitis – Do. Not. Want. You know what’s really weird? I almost always end up with female doctors. My chiro, last 3 family, dentist, OB/GYN, OB/GYN before that all female. Didn’t seek female Docs, just worked out that way…Anyway, the freaking heel pain is now going strong on day 3.

Next up? Start with the beginnings of a cold. Add some ‘tusin to stop self from chopping off own nose (but really, have you seen the thing? I could stand to lose a bit), lie on couch and when phone rings forget about all the aches, pains and meds and high-tail it for the phone (which hubby had already answered – grr). Wait until you’re beside Oscar – Oscar who you ask? Oscar de Credenza – have the meds and sinus pain kick in full force and slam thigh full speed on Oscar’s oh so pointy corner. Spend next two hours on couch again with an icepack.

Good thing tomorrow is my work from home day, I’m not risking moving until my legs apologize for whatever they did to the rest of me.