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Estranged

September 13, 2010

There are people missing from my daughter’s life. Important people. People every child should grow up with, some no longer with us and some who choose to not be a part of our family.

There are people that my daughter remembers, and talks of fondly, who never call and make no effort to see her. These are the people that should be spoiling her and treating her and she should be having sleepovers with them.

I accept that they have nothing to do with me. They are adults and have made a choice. I deal. But it burns my ass that they have decided V isn’t worth the effort, that they choose not to see her. I have never and (will never) denied access to V. These people don’t have to travel distances (they drive so 4 miles is not a distance), they have a phone, they know where we live.

I have heaping amounts of jealousy when I hear about normal family relationships. I would love for V to have those memories, to have a relationship where she’s treated like a princess, spoiled rotten and fed Dairy Queen (by someone other than us *g*). Sadly, I’m still looking for someone to fill that roll.

We ran into this familiar stranger today. She hugged V like she hadn’t seen her in months…oh wait. She gushed over her and chatted with her a bit. Very little else was said and we went our separate ways. Hubby and V then ran into her again in the grocery store and V spent the rest of the time there trying to escape us to go running back to find this person. While we were in line at the checkout she passed us, looked at V (who didn’t see her) and kept going. That really sums things up now doesn’t it?

In the meantime, V is excited as all hell, talking about her and how she wants to see her and talk to her and I am at a loss. My first instinct is to call with a  ‘smarten the hell up’ but that won’t fix things. That doesn’t fit in their version of reality. Do I give her time to call? See if she will arrange a playdate? Do I call and try to arrange something? I’m sure I’ll hear about how incredibly busy she is. Do I want to be setting V up for this at all?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2010 8:10 am

    I’d like to say I’m unfamiliar with this.

    However, The Boy hasn’t seen his paternal grandmother since he was three. He’s now nine. (To the point where, when they did a family tree project he confused her with my grandmother, given how vain she is, I thought this was very amusing.) I decided that it wasn’t worth fighting for, that I only wanted people that were as interested in our well-being and our happiness in our lives. If she wants to meet see him/us again, she can call.

    The Man saw her a few months ago. She hadn’t seen her grandson in six years. She didn’t ask about him. Says it all.

    • neeroc permalink*
      September 15, 2010 1:34 pm

      Makes me sorry for both of them. I honestly cannot understand this at all.

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