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School? I’m so not ready

November 4, 2010

We are already looking at open houses and getting ready to fill out school applications. V has not yet had her 3rd birthday and I’m already feeling the weight of making decisions that may impact her permanent record. Do we go public school or private? If public, which board? English or French? How do you pick a good kindergarten program? (Really? Kindergarten program? I thought it was all fingerpainting and cut and paste with some ABCs and shoe-tying thrown in.) Is one mis-step here going to destroy my plan of having V support me in my golden years? How will she ever win an Emmy/Nobel Prize/lottery?

So once we make a decision, we’ll need to go about applying. To do this I bet I’ll need documentation. I’m sure someone would like to verify that my lovely daughter is in fact my lovely daughter and while a few delusional people might think that an IVF baby is all sexy and designer and stuff, I am confident that a note from my RE or gyno isn’t going to do the trick. This means I have to find her birth certificate. I know I’ve had one, I got her passport for our trip to Jamaica last January, so I do know one exists. And it’s probably off partying with that passport, I just wish they’d left a forwarding address.

I might joke and complain that she’s a little disease -ridden plague carrier, but somewhere in this house, in a really, really secure spot there’s  a little yellow card that will prove we’ve done our best to ensure she’s not actually Typhoid Mary. In my mind it’s off sipping icy umbrella drinks on the beach with Passport and Birth Certificate. I get the feeling I’d get a detention for trying to explain that one to a school official.

While we’re at it, (and having nothing to do with school) do you know the number one reason V does not yet have a savings account? If you guess she can’t sign the bank form you’re wrong. Well, you’re correct that she cannot do it, but that’s not the reason. The reason is that the government, in their infinite wisdom, sent my postpostpartum hormone-addled self her SIN card when she was about 2 months old.  And yes, it is amazing that I remember that at all, but I have no idea where it currently is.

Normal chaos aside, things are off to a rocky start. One of the schools we were interested in had an information session tonight. I mentioned this to hubby weeks ago, and we both thought it would be  a great idea to attend. Fast forward to last week, and hubby goes and makes dinner plans for tonight. Fast forward to yesterday, I realize the conflict but don’t say anything. Today I mention it and hubby let’s me know that he didn’t finalize dinner (aka ‘oh, sorry, you’re cooking tonight, good luck with that’). As we’re IMing I decide to cruise over to the school’s website, only to discover that the open house was LAST night. Not tonight. Betcha a planner, or calendar or writing the information down when you receive it would have helped with that.

If that wasn’t enough, the thought of having an assigned time for V to be somewhere every day is turning me gray…er. I can’t stick to a schedule to save my life. I live by the -ish rule*. I love the -ish rule. The -ish rule was invented for me. I get the feeling (you know with the clocks and the bells and all) that schools don’t know about the -ish rule (places of learning my ass) And, that if they did know about the -ish rule they wouldn’t appreciate it. I know we’re going to be that family that has to sign in at the office 5 minutes after the bell rings. EVERY. DAY. And some snotty bitch will watch me every day, turn her nose up and think, ‘how damn hard is it to leave 5 minutes earlier?’ Then she’ll have a kid and she’ll understand that yes, in fact it can take 35 minutes to eat one piece of toast, and it really is necessary to ask a child 14 times to get dressed. And the child will then interpret ‘get dressed’ to mean remove their pajamas, put on a princess dress and mommy’s high heels, throw their underwear on their head and bounce up and down on the couch in the living room picture window while mommy’s in the shower. And, my personal favorite, just as you get everything together and almost out the door, your child leans in for what you think is a hug and they use your shirt as a kleenex. Have I mentioned I have snot issues? PERSONAL. FAVORITE.

Homeschooling may be our only option to hide the crazy.

*-ish rule – showing up 1/2 hour before or after is perfectly acceptable. Dinner with friends? 6:30ish Shopping? noonish

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. November 5, 2010 1:21 pm

    you know, you’re wee one doesn’t have to go to JK right? We skipped it entirely. (he’s in Grade 5 now, and fine.) Also means you can pull her out of school if it’s just really not working out.

    FWIW, we went private and haven’t regretted our decision (mostly logistics and the cost of daycare, were the deciding factor). The Boy has been there since SK. Bilingual program. Happy to chat about our experience if you’d like.

    • neeroc permalink*
      November 11, 2010 2:35 pm

      Ya I know about the optional thing, and I think she’ll be ready by next year. Or more specifically I’m not sure her current pre-school will be in any way challenging for her. The bilingual factor is very important, and her current class is 2.5 – 5 year olds. I would love more info on your school too, we are looking at all options and hearing happy stories is a bonus.

  2. November 5, 2010 4:35 pm

    I highly recommend Ecole Publique Kanata. Great school.

    • neeroc permalink*
      November 11, 2010 2:37 pm

      That’s right! I knew you guys were really happy, the main factor for us with the french board is that neither one of us have our french rights (my mother did for me but didn’t enroll me in FT french) and my language skills are shaky at best…but we will be trying everything.

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