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Skiing: The musical

January 29, 2011

polypropylene underwear, where are you?
you were so warm, please don’t leave me.
polypropylene underwear where are you?
there you are! there you are!
(hug them and twirl)
there you are! there you are!

It seemed like a good idea when the first song popped into my head, but once I found the underwear my inspiration vanished. I suppose I could come up with a jazzy little tune for the frenzied preparations to get to walk the dog, pick up V, make fruit smoothies (blend, blend, blend), dress, pack the gear and head to the hill (with a brief interlude that includes dinner at McDonald’s and running out of windshield washer fluid).

Then we’d have the dance of the incompetent skier, culminating in a butt-dragging out of control, plunge straight down the hill. The chorus would be on the chairlift singing a peppy little tune about whether I’ll die or recover my balance. In the meantime I’d be muttering under my breath, ‘no damn way I’m going to wipe out. Stand dammit, stand! The chorus would do a quick number down the hill and meet me at the bottom for a joyous celebration of my successful first run.

Next down the hill are the little skier and her dad, there would be a bit of choreography on this one to, a tangling of skis and then a successful run. She would then sing a solo for another ride in the chair and move directly to the why? song. Why so high? Why these chairs? Why the wires? Why the poles? Why don’t I have poles?…

Last scene, a happy and tired V surrounded by her two parents who are moaning about their aching thighs and being too old and out of shape. V asking when she can go again, and a good sleep for all!

Needless to say, there are many reasons I’m not on Broadway.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. suzieswapper permalink
    January 30, 2011 12:34 pm

    You may not make it to Broadway but you may want to try Stand-Up -this is hysterical!!!

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