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I’ve got the solution!

August 18, 2011

A recently popular, humorously-titled book (oh, was there a bit of swearing too?) has brought many parents’ lament to light. I haven’t read it, I’ll pass no judgement on it, but I will admit that I may have uttered it’s title once or a thousand times when V was an infant (or yesterday). Yes I am the parent of a child that doesn’t sleep. Not that she doesn’t need sleep, just that she fights it. Particularly bad days will find her rambling around her room until 11pm, organizing her stuffed animals so she can ‘teach’ them. This is followed by a 4am wake-up chaser. This wonderful event involves her crawling in to our bed, unable to sleep, where she proceeds to kick us in the head when she’s not pretending we’re jungle gyms. But the real kicker (see what I did there?) is when she then finally dozes off at 5:25, precisely 5 minutes before our alarm goes off. Good times.

But, wait for it, I’ve found the solution. The magical, never fail solution. SWIMMING! Yes, controlled drowning with your toddler for an hour and a half guarantees you’ll be asleep by 8pm, snuggled up with your little one as her bedtime story slowly drops onto your nose. The best part? That doesn’t wake you. Her pleas to finish the story don’t wake you either. In fact, you may sleep in her bed straight on ’til morning.

What’s that? You thought I had the solution to get her to sleep? Dream on. But 10 blissful hours of wonderful, wonderful sleep not only beckon, I’ve repeated the experiment! Sure she may freehand a Sharpie eyebrow for me, or maybe head downstairs and start a bubble party with the dishwasher and some Palmolive, but you know what? I betcha I’d sleep through it all.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Deb permalink
    August 18, 2011 1:25 pm

    You crack me up! Yay for sleep!

  2. August 18, 2011 3:19 pm

    LOL. I was thinking UGH… swimming so doesn’t work with K. He STILL stays up way too late. *I* on the other hand would totally fall asleep for the night. awesome 🙂

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