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A new day

September 6, 2011

Today is another first in a summer of firsts for our daughter. After the relative stability (?) of staying at home with me for her first 13 months then her dad for another 8 months, she spend the next 22 months at a wonderful daycare she loved. She made the best of friends at that daycare, the three of them as tight as they come. Then we moved, and with that she changed daycares. The new one was wonderful as well, a safe nurturing place. And yet, making friends and fitting in at 3.5 is a bit harder when the groups you’re joining having been together since they were the wee-est of wee. The broken hearted crying makes it difficult too.

Then, of all the crazy luck, one week after we started her at that daycare, we were offered a position in the in-school daycare; one week after we’d completely uprooted her – her home, her daycare, her friends, her life. After much deliberation we accepted the position, as it offered several things the ‘new’ daycare didn’t. They had hoped we’d start her the beginning of August but we decided to start her in September, allowing her to finish out the summer in the program she just started, our thinking being that the transition in September would be like pulling off a bandaid, new daycare and new school all at once.

And now here we are, a new day, a new month and a new school. Her third daycare in 4 months. The logical part of my brain realizes she’ll be seeing some of her daycare buddies in JK (starting next week) but the part of me that holds her when she sobs about missing her friends (‘old’ friends and now ‘new’) wonders if we’ve broken her, if we’ve done the right thing, and in the darkest moments of self-doubt, if we should have moved at all (I didn’t say it was logical).

Will she always be that bit brokenhearted, that bit reserved? Will she fit in at the new daycare, or will it be that much harder for her to make new friends, always wondering if they’re going to disappear on her again? My poor shy girl, she’s already a bit of a loner, sometimes forgotten in a chaotic room, happy to sit quietly by herself lost in her imagination. Will we ever see our happy carefree girl again?

Now you’ll have to excuse me, I’m off to put on my happy, excited face as I drop her off with a new bunch of strangers.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 6, 2011 8:25 am

    Best of luck! The crying eventually passes.

    • September 7, 2011 12:33 am

      Thanks, she was very proud to announce that she didn’t cry at all today, so that’s a good thing.

  2. nadinethornhill permalink
    September 6, 2011 12:53 pm

    Last year, we pulled my son out of a home daycare where he had become a defacto part of his caregiver’s extend family, when a preschool spot opened up. Like you, the preschool seemed to be the better situation in the long term.

    Now, 11 months later I can happily confirm that it was the right long-term decision. But in the weeks immediately following the transition, when he was acting out and throwing outrageous daily tantrums, I also wondered if we had broken him.

    We didn’t. Eventually he adjusted and now he’s happier than ever. I suspect your daughter will be too.

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