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There are days when I can’t deal with the stupid

December 1, 2011

so you get to read my ranting instead. Yesterday I posted an offer in a freecycle group for a coffee table and an end table. They were described as follows (because that is what they are):

“Both would need to be refinished, they are laminate over particle board, but I’m sure a DIYer would be able to figure something out”

And I received this reply:

“are u sure its not real wood?
could u recheck it and get back to me and let me know if it real wood or Not thks
only want real wood furniture”

Ignoring the ‘u’s and the ‘its’ and the random capitalization and strange line breaks and the everything else wrong (because there isn’t an internet licensing system YET)…no forget it, not ignoring those, I’m not sure if I should be more insulted that this person thinks I can’t tell the difference between real wood and laminate over particle board (I mean, ffs, why the hell would I say it was if it was actually real wood?) or that they expect me to hop to their command over some free (clearly damaged) crap treasures I’m giving away or that they think that passes as a reasonable message.

I’m sorely tempted to reply with either ‘well then you don’t want this’ or ‘nope, won’t be rechecking’ but that would be rude right?

Make me feel better – let me hear your snark.

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Cindy W permalink
    December 1, 2011 1:09 pm

    I just liked your use of ffs 🙂

    The rest seems obvious to me!

  2. December 1, 2011 2:08 pm

    are u sure u can read?
    could u go back to school and figure out if u can or Not thks
    only want literate customers

  3. December 1, 2011 2:37 pm

    Suggested reply:

    I’m so glad you asked! I checked again, and sure enough, it’s still bits of wood stuck together with paper glued on top. Particle board, I believe I called it.

    Given that particle board is made of wood, it technically is real wood furniture, so come on over to pick it up!

  4. December 1, 2011 6:12 pm

    Hahaha, I can’t best the comments above so I’ll just enjoy the snark snack. Cuz yeah, it’s been that kind of day. (Ha, just typed “that kink of day” which is a whole other problem, isn’t it?)

    • December 2, 2011 2:20 pm

      HA! now you have me sitting here laughing all by my self.

  5. December 2, 2011 12:06 am

    Dear Real Wood Wanter,

    I did go back to check to see if it was in fact real wood instead of particle board because it’s easy to confuse the grain between a hundred year oak and bits of wood glued together. Unfortunately, as I was walking over, I tripped on the cat who then went running into the kitchen and knocked over the Christmas tree that I had just finished putting up earlier today. This in turn sparked a fire. I like to think I remain calm in the face of an emergency but the site of the cat tangled up in the tree and the flames spreading throughout my kitchen left me in a bit of a frenzy and I may have confused a whipped cream canister for our fire extinguisher. For the record, whipped cream does not put out fires and now I have nothing to spray into my mouth when I’m in the midst of a PMS craving freakout which is not going to bode well for my husband. Anyhoo….the fire spread like, well, wild fire, and eventually spread to the particle board furniture which lit up like Cheech and Chong on a road trip. So yes, definitely particle board. Are you still interested?

  6. December 2, 2011 12:14 am

    I wish I was half as funny as those commenting above. Please use all of their replies and report back to us on what you get back. Failing that? I’ve been on the receiving end of your snark a few times, I know you have some great responses of your own 🙂

  7. December 6, 2011 9:36 am

    Aw man! Someone is actually *encouraging* me to snark? You might as well sit me in front of buffet of pie and tell me they’ve invented a pill that makes calories not count.

    I don’t think I could top Natalie’s snark though. Frickin’ brilliant. My temptation was to reply

    “Hey, guess what! You were totally right! They ARE real wood! I can’t believe I missed that. They’re yours if you want them.”

    And then give them a fake phone number and address. Far, far out in the country.

    • December 6, 2011 11:14 pm

      Love it! No really, I want that pill.

      Yep, I think Nat won my heart with that one, even if your idea of a wild-goose chase gives me the giggles.

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