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You don’t mess with the coffee

January 31, 2012

If there’s one thing I try to avoid doing it’s spending a lot of time thinking when I order food. More specifically breakfast, but lunch occasionally trips me up too. My ideal scenario is being presented a menu with pictures of every dish so I can point at them and grunt, and have the desired items magically appear.

You can see this rule in action in all aspects of my fast-food decisions – I go to Quizno’s for my sandwiches and not Subway. It’s why Burger King is easy and Harvey’s is hard (yes when I say everything I do in fact mean mayo, hot peppers and ketchup too. That’s why I said everything – eesh), now where was I? Oh ya, I go to Tim Horton’s for my coffee and not Starbucks. And it’s not just because I can get all this for the less than the price of what ever they call a large coffee:

That was a whole sub...I was really, really hungry on the drive back to the office

It’s also because it takes brainpower to order that white and green stuff whereas my tried and true, is well, my tried and true.

(insert record screech)

Or was. Was my tried and true, until last Monday. On that fateful day Tim Horton’s decided they needed a new size of coffee cup. Now I get that change is hard. I get that people are resistant and don’t like trying new things. So in the interest of fairness, I decided to wait a week before finalizing and voicing my opinion.

Their original (you Cliff Clavin’s out there can suck it, I don’t care if they ‘originally’ only had a 9.23oz coffee so keep your factoids to yourself) line up included the standards – small (who does that? and why bother?), med (aka a shot glass of coffee), large (diet sized) and extra large (mine). You went in to Timmies and you knew what you were getting.

And now they’ve gone and screwed it all up. You see, they didn’t just add a swimming pool sized coffee cup, they RENAMED ALL the damn sizes. For the life of me I can’t remember what a small is now, so I’ll go safe and call it ‘waste of time’ (it might be extra small – who is going to order that?). Medium is now small, large is medium, and XL is large, all to make room for this ridiculous 24oz coffee they call an extra large. What was wrong with ‘Maxi’ or ‘Mega’ or ‘Too much’ or ‘Bucket’o’?

l to r: bucket, used to be XL, and new XS


For a company that won’t take debit cards because it slows things down you’ve sure gone and shot yourselves in the foot. Now, not only does every customer have to run through the entire inventory before they order, but the cashiers are all prompting the customers with a ‘you know our sizes changed?’ speil. And for those that ignore the warnings, we’ve also got the slow down when they try to complain that they received the wrong size.

And even after all that, when I asked the cashier for a small cup (meaning the smallest) I received a small, not their smallest, otherwise and previously known as a medium:

Yes I went back a second time and asked for their smallest cup, no no, just empty thanks

Desperate times call for desperate measures:

I spent a lot of time taking pictures of coffee cups this week

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. January 31, 2012 8:57 pm

    You make me laugh. I suppose in a pinch, the extra large is like a disposable hot tub, eh?

    • February 2, 2012 9:20 am

      It’s so silly. My co-worker ordered an XL by mistake and she was embarrassed to be carrying it around.

  2. February 2, 2012 12:26 pm

    I gotta say, I was up this morning at 3:45 to take my parents to the airport. Just before lunch, Hubby came to switch cars with me at my office. I had him bring me the new XL (mega, bucket, pool, whatever) cause I need it to freakin stay awake! *falls over sooo tired* For me, the Large will be my norm, but on a day like today, the XL is a bloody Godsend!

  3. February 2, 2012 10:01 pm

    The only thing that new XL is good for, is if you want to dump it into some mugs to share with friends. It’s a pot of coffee to go! Me, I order tea….in the metal pot please! And then I have to teach them how to make it. 😦

    • February 6, 2012 3:15 pm

      It is CRAZY. I’m still messed up every time I have to order. It shouldn’t take that much thought.

  4. February 3, 2012 11:57 am

    So I leave the country and they frig with the sizes at tims? WTH? I’ll never be able to figure it out now.

    PS – you make me giggle

  5. February 8, 2012 4:27 pm

    “For a company that won’t take debit cards because it slows things down you’ve sure gone and shot yourselves in the foot”

    They STILL don’t take debit cards?? Seriously? Welcome to the 21st Century Tims and don’t lie and say that debit slows things down, it’s because you’re too cheap to install debit machines!

    (Sorry minor rant there, I just find it crazy!)

    • February 9, 2012 10:24 pm

      Especially bogus since they take Mastercard, and with the chip/pin it’s basically a debit card anyways.

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