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One is the loneliest number

March 27, 2012

Hi! This is Neeroc’s last brain cell, just stopping by to let you know that it’s been pretty darn lonely around here. It seems all the rest of her brains cells gave up the ghost after a particularly lethal elbow-elbow-jab-kick combination delivered by her minion sometime Sunday night or early Monday morning. But don’t worry, I’ve been keeping busy, doing my best to cause as much trouble for her as I can!

Yesterday I made her bundle her sick child up and drive out to the walk-in clinic at her family doctor’s office all on the advice of the receptionist who claimed the wait would be ‘reasonable’. Never did she think to ask the receptionist if ‘reasonable’ had been framed in terms of waiting time with a sick 4 year old.

Sadly, when she got there the (different) receptionist took pity on her and scheduled (HA!) an appointment for later in the afternoon. I first thought this was an unrecoverable mis-step, until V proved that I still had the reigns and there was more havoc to be had. Once back in the van V asked for a hash brown from the golden arches. Not specifically an unreasonable request, especially for a sick child. Neeroc of course showed her clouded judgement by waiting in the drive thru for the breakfast food at 11:30. I don’t know if she wasn’t familiar with the concept of a clock, or she thought crying could magically make one appear, but as soon as she made that mis-step I knew she was mine!

After shimmying down to the old eardrum I planted the idea that she should head out to get some groceries, you know trying to find anything that V would eat. Things were disappointing in the store itself, as hard as I tried I could not make her crash into the precariously balanced displays AND she had the nerve to remember to get her card back from the debit machine at the checkout!

At this point I knew I had to go big or go home…even if technically I was at home…ya, whatever. I started small to make sure I still had her, you know, getting her to try to unlock the gold minivan parked immediately beside her gold minivan. Yep, that worked, and I even had an appreciative audience. A passer-by actually laughed!

She finally figured it out and got the goods into her van. She then brought her cart to the corral, where I knew I could do my finest work. She thought she was being clever, reminding herself to take her purse out of the cart after lifting V out, but I out foxed her! While she was struggling with V I made her move it to the lower level and TOTALLY FORGET IT! Boy did I dance as she buckled V in and drove away (right past the cart BTW) and she didn’t give it a single thought (hmm, I may have had a hand in that!)

I got a good laugh later in the day watching her get ready to go back to the docs, going back and forth from the van to the house, trying to call her cell. And the debate she had about whether she should go back to the store to look for the purse or just cry at the Dr’s office was awesome (oh, did I forget to mention V’s health card was in the purse?)

(I must say this wasn’t as tragic as I’d hoped, apparently it was just turned in to customer service. Cards, ID, phone, money all still there! Damn small villages!)

Somehow this whole episode, while fun to plan was not quite painful enough, so I next planned a two-pronged approach, I’d have her laze about with V in the afternoon and get her drowsy enough that when her hubby came home to walk the dog she’d sleep, and wake up thinking it was Tuesday afternoon. I’d then have her check Draw Something, realize it was her turn in one of the games, have her look at the selections which include ‘sidewalk’ and ‘crystal’. She of course thinks ‘crystal’ is bananas to try, so I’ll make her pick it, AND at the same time get her to think she’s drawing ‘sidewalk’

And result:

There’s really no recovering from that.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. kellyserjeantson permalink
    March 27, 2012 12:18 pm

    Hehe, poor you. Hope your little one is feeling better. And you got some sleep to recover those pesky brain cells!!!

    • April 3, 2012 10:51 pm

      She’s feeling better, here’s hoping the meds kick it for sure.

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