I see off-road roller-blades in my future.

On Saturday I went for a walk with V. I use both the terms ‘walk’ and ‘with’ very loosely here. It was more a desperate bid for me to keep up and keep her from splashing, sloshing, drowning or breaking a bone. I managed to take some pictures along the way, and upon review, I have determined they are actually evidence.

You see, for the longest time I’ve been feeling old and overweight. I mean, my five year old is KILLING me. But now, now I have proof that it’s not just me. She’s simply not human!

First attempt at flight:

It appears the jacket weighed her down. She removed it and suddenly:

You may note she’s getting further and further away. I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I was stationary while snapping those pics, but please note the surroundings. I was HUSTLING to keep up. Oh, and don’t think she restricts this behaviour to times when there are no witnesses. Just ask anyone at any store, or restaurant we’ve been in. Her return to the table from the washroom can only be described as supersonic. Or, as I like to request and she likes to think of it, ‘slow’.

You don’t get what’s so special? Here’s a collage of proof:

Not once did her feet touch the ground. NOT ONCE. How am I supposed to keep up with a child who can achieve flight?